Well this was a wonderful surprise! Thank you all for reading my first post on here! The response has been over whelming, and I am truly grateful for everyone taking the time to read the quick summery of the past two months of my journey for pole! So I thought let’s talk about something on all our minds New Years Resolutions.
Ok, I know pretty much everyone does these and most women well they want it to be about weight loss or some sort of physical change. Why not do something different this year? Why not try and do a mental change? A wise person once told me until I can be happy with who I am already that any change in my body will never be a fix all being skinny was always a fixation of mine until well pole.
I started Weight watchers almost a year ago hard to believe a year has past already! I can remember a year ago most likely around this date I got on a scale and saw the number it was 299, Just 1 lb shy of 300. Now I can honestly say to you all that I did not hit that dreaded number, but at the time me and my husband started talking about children and the first thing that came to my mind was how irresponsible it would have been to even consider a child at that weight risking the baby and mines health, it was my ah ha moment.
That first month of January I started well eating less 1-2 meals a day and small ones at that drinking lots of water and going to a non healthy regimen to try and get some of this weight off. Realizing that that was not working as well as my brain thought I looked into weight watchers people for years have been telling me to try it because it’s awesome so I thought what the hell besides my bank account what can it hurt. So I began this part of the journey with my best friend Erin, Its been an up and down fight with the scale but I’ve lost 40lbs and learned that I can do this.
I picked up running using the couch to 5k program which I have to say really really works if you looking to build up your endurance and run a 5k which I did for the first time this summer. It was called the color me rad 5k this was one of the best days of my life besides marrying my husband of course but it just showed me that I could accomplish anything. But the fact that I still had not lost the amount of weight I felt I needed too still plagued me, wanting to give up because I apparently wasn’t getting the instant gratification that I wanted from what I was paying so much for. At that point I decided to take a break from running as my hip was getting beyond sore and I feared injuring myself. Then it came the thing I was scared to death of I hit a plateau. Stopped loosing went up and down the same 3 lbs for about 4 months now. Feeling defeated and I lost all motivation to do anything I stopped tracking barley went to Weight Watchers and then started pole as we talked about in my first post below no need to re state all of it but it changed something in me. It was the wake up call my husband had been begging for.
Something that pole did for me is finally allowing me to laugh at myself not in a bad way but in a silly way. I can remember walking in for my first class thinking “what the hell am I doing? like serious Kell do you honestly think you can spin on that little thing?” 2 hours and 2 classes later I knew I could do this and wanted to keep going. Do I sometimes wish my legs looked a little better in the spandex yea, do I wish I could pick up on some of the things as some of the other girls yes of course am I not human? But am I confident in my body and my abilities and my strength. Hell yea. Its been a long time since I could look myself in the mirror and call myself sexy, finally be more confident in myself even at 260lbs and know that I’m beautiful and that even at 299lbs I was beautiful I just wasn’t healthy and that’s what needed to change not me.
And I thank my Pole instructor Monica everyday for what she has helped do for my confidence she hasn’t given up on me no matter how frustrated I’ve gotten she has been an inspiration to me, the tricks she can do and how pretty she can make everything I’ve seen her do just drives me to be better and want to be better. Still in awe the progress I’ve had because of her teaching’s. For the first time in a very long time I’m loving being in my own skin.
That’s the change we all should be making, the resolution to accept yourself be the beautiful women you are and then work out. Besides loosing weight and toning up working out is a great stress reliever, a social experience when going with friends and meeting new ones. And hell Don’t call it a diet either its a lifestyle change, diets fail to many restrictions.
So my New Years Resolution you ask…. Work towards my first Pole Competition Dangerous Curves ( as long as they do it again teehee NYC BABY!!) And to continue to be happy, a friend told me yesterday that she sees a change in me in my confidence and my happiness its only taken 26 years to finally be happy with myself as I am today not what I was in high school and where I want to be in another 70lbs.
Let me leave you with this:
I’m done thinking someone can put a smile on my face, only I have the power to do that…my thoughts are changing, the energy is gone.
The smile on this face is for myself done by me, no one else – Ayla Johannson
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Good Luck to you all with your resolutions!!
Had a great pole class tonight! Got some great shots of my stargazer! Did some climbing inverting and more really needed it felt great to get back too many days of nothing!! Check out the pics!